10:51 a.m. - November 15, 2003
SSDD
I have so much to do today. I guess I'm cooking an early Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow to have with his family as we won't be here for the actual holiday. I really don't mind doing it, it's just that I'm totally unprepared (except for the turkey, got that) and I really need to sit down and make a menu/list, right after I make the bed, clean up the bathroom, put a load of laundry in and unload the dishwasher.
I'm still at odds with myself over my situation at home. There are so many things going on right now with my dad being sick, me being out of a job, finances (or lack of), holidays coming up. I know deep down that I don't want to leave. I just get so frustrated and angry and hateful towards him that I think that's the only answer. I also know that most of the trouble we're in was caused by me. I have these horrible, horrible mood swings that no one can seem to figure out and my family takes the brunt of it. In my mind this is one of the biggest reasons I need to get a job, I need health insurance. Argh. Same shit different day.
