8:14 p.m. - February 16, 2005
Wednesday
Today would have marked my parents 49th anniversary. I just got off the phone with mom and she seems to be doing well. She says she's thought about my dad alot today but didn't break down like she expected to. She says it's the unexpected things that get her, like cold days. My dad loved the cold weather. I guess that's where I get it from. He loved big rain storms too as do I. I miss him so much.
Valentines day was a surprise. I had decided that this year I wasn't getting anyone anything. Mark always made such a fuss about "another holiday" and I always got my expectations up way too high. So this year, I wasn't giving or getting and I wasn't going to care about it. I was so proud of myself, going through the day not really giving it a thought when BAM! I called him to let him know that he'd better fire his florist because the flowers that I'm sure he ordered for me hadn't shown up yet! We both laughed said our "I love you's" and hung up. Well, when I got home he'd taken my red table cloth and put a big pot of planted tulips in the middle and scattered hundreds of different colored Hershey kisses all around it. I was so taken aback and surprised. It was nice for a change to not expect anything and have him come up with something like that. Now I'm going to lower my expectations of that diamond ring I know is coming my way!!!!
I'm having some serious esophageal pain. I think I need to eat.
