9:41 a.m. - May 14, 2002
Stormy nights with no lights
Praise the Lord! My SIL sold her house. We are so stoked we can hardly stand it. She should be out here some time around mid-June. I guess dh will be making another trip out to California to help her move.
We had a huge storm last night. It just kind of came out of nowhere. I'm not use to weather like this. I sort of felt like Dorothy in Oz; the wind came out of nowhere and then the thunder and lightening and all of a sudden BAM, the power goes out. After I got the kids settled I tried to read by flash light but it's kind of difficult to hold the thing and try to read. This wasn't one of those lightweigh plastic jobbies either, this one weight about 3 lbs. Why do they make them so heavy? I had it propped on my shoulder but it started killing my collar bone. I was prepared for an intruder though. I could've knocked 'em out cold with that thing! I soon gave up on the flashlight thing and layed there, unable to fall asleep on my own but hoping that by some slim chance I would start to feel that peaceful drifting feeling, you know the one? Well, it never happend,instead my mind started rehashing my life. My life is not bad, I feel very blessed to have what I have, I just always wonder if I'm going to live be 85 and look back and wonder why I didn't do things differently. By "things" I mean why do I find myself so unhappy all the time? Why do I feel angry alot? Why do I snap at dh and kids every single day? Why am I one person at work and turn into the ugly mom monster when I get home? I've spent many an hour sitting on the psych. couch trying to dig and find out where the unhappiness comes from to no avail. What am I doing wrong? Where did I go wrong? This is too draining a subject for me to get into here. I should've never brought it up in the first place. Maybe I'll come back to it tomorrow. Right now I'm too tired and I need to get through the rest of the day. Yawn.
Question of the day:
What is your most treasured memory?
I guess I should put my answers in here, huh?
I have many a treasured memory but the one that comes to mind is when Olivia was about 8 weeks old. We had taken a bath together and I wrapped us up in big fluffy blanket. We were laying on my bed and we drifted off to sleep. I woke up to find Mark standing in the doorway looking at us. The look on his face was so peaceful and content, the same way I felt at that moment. I'll never forget that.
�
�
