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10:49 a.m. - September 16, 2002
Blue Monday
I'm alive, I'm alive! Just barely though. I have been planted in bed for the last 3 1/2 days but I'm still exhausted. The thought of crawling into bed again distresses me. It's called associated anxiety. I just made it up. Maybe it'll be entered into the National Mental Health Resource Manual. I'm easy that way; I can have one bad experience and never want to go back to that place again for fear of having that experience again. I'm the ideal pshyc. patient, I've always got "issues" that never go away. They perpetuate and go round and round until what was the original issue is long gone and I've moved onto something else. Does that make sense? That's okay, it's not suppose to. My mind is like a bad neighborhood, I never, ever like to go in there alone.

So I've been living off of apple juice and jello. I haven't had an appetite at all. I had some rice last night but it do much for me. I'm hungry now but nothing sounds goods. I need to get better soon, I leave next week and can't be sick under no circumstances. My grandmother picks everything up very easily.

Hope you all have a good day.

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