9:57 a.m. - January 13, 2003
Where Has the Time Gone?
Good morning, how was your weekend? I did not leave my house all weekend except to run to the pharmacy yesterday morning. I started out with big plans to whip through my house like my hair was on fire but a migraine laid me down about mid-day. Yesterday I felt kind of drunk all day. I guess that is one of the withdrawl symptoms of lithium. I forgot twice to go pick it up and I paid for it, that's for certain.
I noticed the other day that my "baby" is blooming. I was laying on her bed talking with her while she was getting dressed and she turned around and I noticed little buds. I wanted to cry right then and there. Where has the time gone? Wasn't it just yesterday that I caught her in the bathroom pulling all the TP off the roll and giggling about it then moving on to the pots and pans with my wooden spoons? I miss those times so awfully much. That first year blew me away, she showed me how to stop and enjoy the moment, to savor even the very small things in life. Now she's almost 10 and on the verge of becoming a young woman. She's so full of life and her eyes are so big, like they're looking for more, eager to learn. She's so smart too and I don't mean just academically, she has a common sense beyond her age. She's an old soul in a young body. Sometimes I treat her like she's older than she is and I shouldn't because she has such fragile feelings at times. She wants everyone to be happy and when they're not, she hurts. I am not looking forward to the years ahead, maybe my mind will change as we go on, maybe things won't be as difficult as they were with me and my family. Say a prayer for her and I.
My grama is home. She has someone come in and cook and clean for her and help her get around. I guess her first couple of days at home were "iffy" at best. My uncle said that she's learning to use a cane to help her move her legs out of bed and her first couple of tries landed that cane clear across the room. She is so stubborn and independent that she hates to accept any kind of help from anyone. I really wish I could afford to go out there and be with her for awhile. I think her nurse is going to need a few prayers too, k?
In other news, there ain't any. My life is a bland as they come. Maybe by tomorrow I'll have become a millionaire and we can all go out to lunch and have our feeties done, sound good?
ciao
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