4:36 p.m. - March 31, 2003
The C word
It's been a busy day today, I've spent most of it in my car. I had my psych. appt. this morning which I didn't get back to work from until noon. Then there was a message waiting from the OB's office asking me to come in for a CA-125 test. She told me it was a hormone level test and it is but it's used to screen for cancer. Suddenly I'm feeling panicked and scared and nervous and generally horrible. Of course I think the worst and my whole life has run through my head in about 15 minutes and I think about how my kids would do if I got sick. How would they handle seeing someone else in their life get sick like that? How would I handle it? What would we do financially? I hate this. I think I know deep down that it's really nothing, well something, just not that horrible but it's hard to think positively. I just hope they get back to me soon, this waiting is going to grate on my nerves.
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