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9:50 a.m. - October 15, 2003
Flap, flap, flap
I should never write my entries after I've taken my meds for the night because I never make sense. Hence my last entry.

I've got a BA-zillion things to do between now and Friday. My main chore is to get this house clean. I have such a problem with that. I used to be able to whiz through my house and get it clean in a couple of hours (pre-children). Nowadays if you were to ask me if I could get it clean in a couple of days I'd probably balk then tell you no. I so want everything done and in it's place so I can leave the fam with everything they need. I need to get my hair cut and possibly have the hi-lights touched up, I haven't decided if I want to plunk down the cash for that. I need to grocery shop then pack for all of us. I'm waiting for Fedex to bring me some money. Hopefully he'll show up here soon. Let's see, there's mucho laundry as always, the car needs the oil changed and my list can go on and on. Prioritize, right?

My relatives should have gotten in last night. I guess they stayed in Murfreesboro overnight then will be driving with my brother guiding to my parents house this morning. Come to find out my dad's only nephew flew out to see him as well so that's kind of a nice surprise. We're all taken aback by that because my cousin (dad's nephew) and his father (dad's brother) haven't spoken in almost a year and here they've come out to see my dad together. Funny how tough times can bring people together. Mollie and I were just talking about this the other day how it's so important to make sure that those around you know that you love them and know that you support and care for them. I'm so happy that no one in my family are on the outs with each other because that just adds a whole different and uncomfortable twist to things. Here you are trying to come together for the sake of someone in your life/family and you have this underlying rift with them. Yuck. I know my brothers have had their share of fallings out over the years and one was just recently, but then the news of my dad came and all those hard feelings seem to have taken a back seat and they've come together to support my dad. I hope my cousin and uncle can do the same thing, as we all know life is too short. We need to air our grievences and move on.

My dad will start chemo on the 20th so I'll be there to help mom for the week following. I'm glad for that, I think she can use a break although she'd tell you differently. I'll get to visit with grama for a few days and my kids will get to see her this weekend. They haven't seen her since we left California. I dread her leaving because she's going to cry, then I'll cry, then dad and everyone else will follow suit. It's like someone takes my heart and squeezes it. And I know she'll leave believing that this will be the last time she see's her son which could be true but we're holding out on them coming out again for Christmas. She says she plans on it and I know my brother will fly out and get her. Here this lady is almost 100 and she's flying around the nation like some super model or something!!! Regardless of what happens at Christmas, this coming week is going to be a gut wrencher. My brother came to my rescue and bought me a flight home on the 26th so now Mark doesn't have to drive down again and get me.

OK, I've flapped enough.

Peace out.

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