10:11 a.m. - November 13, 2003
An Update
I'm home. . .I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, (doing my best Herman Munster impression). I got that drive down to 7 hours. It's so much quicker when you don't have kids in the car with you that's for sure. I left Saturday morning around 6:15 and walked in their door at 1:15 on the nose.
I was shocked to see how old my dad looks. His hands are really thin and he has to wear a different wedding band. My mom said that they got up one day last week and dads rings had come off in the bed. He's only lost 1 lb. since last week, but it sure looks like more. He's very tired from the chemo but still has a pretty good appetite. He's very picky about what he eats because he says everything tastes different from day-to-day. So 2 drips down, 4 to go. I'll be back down there for Thanksgiving then stay on for a another few days. It's so hard watching someone who has been so strong become a withered little man. My heart aches and sometimes when I want to cry the tears just don't come. I feel helpless and sometimes I don't know what to say to him. I've seen him cry more in the last month than I have my whole life. Why does this happen to those we love, those who still have so much to give? My dad has just recently accepted the Lord and has changed so much, just his love for others and his eagerness to help others has multiplied and now it's being taken from him. He can't even get off the couch long enough to finish a meal muchless be at church with those he's grown so close to. It just doesn't make sense. I worry about my mom too. She's another I have always looked up to. She's had this strength about her that I always knew I could rely on. Now it seems that she's lost in a way. Things that I would think would naturally come to a person just evade her. The other day my dad was having a terrible morning, he was stopped up and his intestines were giving him a fit. He was starting to panic so she in turn got really flustered. I left to get him something to move things along. She later told me that she didn't even think about going out to get him something. That worries me.
I wish they weren't so far away.
I'm off to the unemployment office again. Gawd I've got to find a job. I hate the thought of working but I've got to find a job. Pray that something comes along.
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