9:02 p.m. - January 16, 2004
Where do I Get the Strength?
I am so glad it's Friday, this has been a tough week. The first few weeks of a new job usually are tough, but this job is kicking my butt. Being that it's in the medical field there is no room for errors and I have made a couple. None that were earth shattering, but mistakes nonetheless. I'm really starting to believe that this is a two-person job. Not only is there a ton to do but the hours are killing me. Wednesday night I worked til 11 pm. I'm trying to keep my sights on the paycheck at the end of the week but it's a little difficult when I'm blurried eyed and barely functioning.
I talked to my mom again and Dad isn't doing well. He's gotten so weak from the blood thinners/new chemo meds that he can barely get out of bed. He's only eating one cup-o-soup a day and barely drinking anything. My brothers have to lift him into and out of the van whenever he goes to the hospital, which is daily now. She talks about how skinny his hands and feet are and that she's looking into in-home care. She tries to keep a positive spirit for him, but she's wearing thin, I can hear it in her voice. I'm weighed down with guilt because I can't be down there. God, how am I going to get through this? I don't have it in me.
�
�
