7:43 p.m. - September 14, 2003
Company has Departed
My brother and his family left this morning. I was sad to see them go but I'm not one to entertain for any long period of time. I'm a loner.
The official news came on Friday, my dad does have cancer. So far we know for sure that it's in his lungs and liver. I'm sure they'll do another scan to see if it's anywhere else. Needless to say we're all scared senseless. I've never heard my dad so down before. He asked me not to cry anymore because he couldn't take it. My mom says he's been sitting on the couch for the last 3 days and only moving to use the rest room and go to bed. I can completely understand that, depression has set in again. I'm sure we've all had some sort of scare in our lives when we've really sat back and felt what it would be like to have some life threatening disease. I'm more scared for him than I am for losing him if that makes any sense. I just don't want him to give up his fight before he's had a chance to utilize it. I don't want him to right-off-the-bat lose hope. He has a biopsy tomorrow so we'll find out soon exactly what type it is and what stage it's at. My mom has to be there alone while he has the surgery which absolutely kills me. I wish I could be there and being that my brother is on his way home from here as we speak, he can't be there either and I doubt that my other brother will drive down there. Who knows, maybe he'll surprise us and show up at the hospital to stay with my mom. I don't know why I say that because my brother is not some heartless jerk, I can just hear my dad telling him, "Ah, it's nothing, I'll be out the same day, don't drive all that way". He said that to me on Wednesday "We're not putting our lives on hold, you keep your plans with Gary and we'll be up there at Christmas", stubborn old man! That stubbornness should come in pretty handy right about now.
Now that I've got this all typed up, did I already tell you all this? My mind is in more of a fog than usual.
Keep praying please.
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