8:24 p.m. - June 24, 2002
The black hole
So what in the world makes me think that I could ever have another baby? I have been feeling slightly panicky this evening. I've gone from feeling that my life is perfect, I love everything about it, I want another child to feeling like I'm going to slip right over the edge. I don't know why I'm all of a sudden feeling like this. I have yelled at my kids a dozen times and I've only been home for 3 hours. Everything they do makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I've been feeling so good for so long and now this. Dh has not quite caught on to how I'm feeling. I usually run to him as if to shelter me and he knows instantly. I don't want to get him mad. I know he feels hopeless when this happens to me but the way he shows it is to get angry and tell me to snap out of it. These are the times that I need him to be strong.
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