8:31 p.m. - June 20, 2003
What am I going to do?
I wish I could get out of this funk. My thoughts are doing the domino effect thing on me and it just starts an endless cycle. OMG I lost my job! I'm a loser! Why did they want to get rid of me so bad that they would use such a petty, petty reason to do so? OMG I'm not going to have health coverage in a few days. How am I going to find another job when I'm such a loser? How am I going to interview when I can't even carry on an intelligent conversation? It goes on and on and my stomach starts to churn and I feel that tinge of panic coming on and I think about my meds and how now I've got to pay full price. Holy Moley, what am I going to do? I've been going on-line several times a day to search for jobs and there isn't much out there. What is out there is being fought over by hundreds of people. Do I want to commute and make way more money or do I want to stay close to home and make beans? Everyday that goes by WalMart is sounding better and better, but then there's the fear of running into them (which I know is bound to happen). Part of me can't wait until it does because I'm so angry, but why waste my energy. Errrrr I feel so FLIPPIN' MAD. I don't think Mark has any clue how I'm feeling, I'm really afraid to talk to him about it.
Kat, I really want you to know that I'm thinking about you and whats going on in your part of the world. I think about you everyday because our situations are quite similar. We will get through this, you know.
So, all that said everyone have a bloody good weekend and send some {{{{get a job fast vibes}}}}} Ok?
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